I need help removing her.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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