i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
