hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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