I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
