So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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