I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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