Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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