He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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