No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
