Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
