See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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