I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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