When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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