420 ftw
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
