Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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