Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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