last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize