Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
