You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
