There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
