He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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