Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
