i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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