summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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