Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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