i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
