Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
