fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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