ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
