Fuck appropriateness.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize