Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize