Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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