we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize