well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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