I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
