I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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