The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
