I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
