I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
