I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
BRING THE BAGELS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
