Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
