So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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