Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
