I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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