that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
