bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
