I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
