he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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