i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
