i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
