haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just gift wrapped bread.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
