do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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