There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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