Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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