You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
