If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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