conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
