Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
