worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
