i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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