I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
