In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
