i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
handjob tips. give me some.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
