I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
