Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
