She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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