I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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