i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
