dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
