what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
