Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
