Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
